I entered a competition for big big prizes. Only I bombed… didn’t even make the top ten!
Did I feel sore! But I recognized those feelings from early painful childhood experiences around ‘competition’. For the first time in more decades than I want to own up to, I’d felt competitive about this event. And, whaddayerknow… history repeated itself!
I explored how come I didn’t make it. And critiquing what I delivered compared with the top 10 gave me loads of learning learning learning.
Even more, in processing all that, bingo, whammo, shazam… in plopped some really big ones.
I realised I’d been trying to play somebody else’s game… an Alpha Male one actually… rather than my own. That hit with a gut wrenching thud. I’d been stuck in ‘Good girl’, a part of my personality which tries to please. No wonder I’d felt out of sorts and disconnected from myself for days. Read more…